i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
