Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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