Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
