omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
