is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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