Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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