SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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