Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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