If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
