The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
