dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
