U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
