Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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