apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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