Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
