I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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