Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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