If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
