Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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