And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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