wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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