i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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