idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
