Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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