Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
