she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
