did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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