I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
