the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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