My hair reeks of homosexuality.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
