i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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