In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
