i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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