Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
