i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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