was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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