their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
only if we run a train.
done.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
