She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
