did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
