The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
