ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Welp...herpes.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
