thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
