Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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