Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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