dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
