I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
