Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
