First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
