I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
