By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
