So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
